If you read my blog roll, you'll find regular posts by (usually female) bloggers talking about the problem of overcommitment, either struggling under the situations they find themselves in, or celebrating the fact that they were able to set up and enforce their boundaries properly. I read this posts with sympathy, knowing that I would have similar difficulties but for my partner's strong caution against my volunteering to do things I don't have to do.
My partner has been gone 20 days. Today is my turn to write such a post.
When my family numbers 3, or when one of us is commuting in for the weekend, Saturdays and Sundays are a whole lot of fun. The days are spent outdoors, except when the weather is absolutely miserable, or someone is sick. Even then, we make an effort to get out of the house and go some place fun. This is partially because Epsilon really enjoys it, and has come to expect it, but also because we, the adults, need the stress release.
With two parents, having one or two planned fun activities per weekend days is reasonable. We share the physical play, so that neither of us is left too tired afterwards. I'm starting to realize that this is not a sustainable plan for one parent. Playing hard with Epsilon leaves me exhausted and unable to focus on work at the start of the week.
I feel like a overachieving undergrad with bad study skills:
But I want to drink all night long AND do well in my classes.
Some things are just not possible to pair, at least until I become physically stronger. At the same time, both Epsilon and I have had to give up a lot of little pleasures these past few weeks, and I need to be careful not to give up too much.
My partner has been gone 20 days. Today is my turn to write such a post.
When my family numbers 3, or when one of us is commuting in for the weekend, Saturdays and Sundays are a whole lot of fun. The days are spent outdoors, except when the weather is absolutely miserable, or someone is sick. Even then, we make an effort to get out of the house and go some place fun. This is partially because Epsilon really enjoys it, and has come to expect it, but also because we, the adults, need the stress release.
With two parents, having one or two planned fun activities per weekend days is reasonable. We share the physical play, so that neither of us is left too tired afterwards. I'm starting to realize that this is not a sustainable plan for one parent. Playing hard with Epsilon leaves me exhausted and unable to focus on work at the start of the week.
I feel like a overachieving undergrad with bad study skills:
But I want to drink all night long AND do well in my classes.
Some things are just not possible to pair, at least until I become physically stronger. At the same time, both Epsilon and I have had to give up a lot of little pleasures these past few weeks, and I need to be careful not to give up too much.
Barefoot, you are way too serious a person to drink all night :)
ReplyDeleteI hear you... This is one of the main reasons I started to exercise -- I want to have the energy to play with the kids all day, which I don't have now. Hub and I became overweight couch-potatoes and are setting a bad example. So I am getting moving to have the energy and more enjoyment from my family life.
ReplyDeleteHang in there!
I feel really bad reading your post because we're three in the same location and still have very little energy. We do at most one fun outing each weekend. Most of the weekend days we're so exhausted that we have to take a nap in the middle of the day. And this is not just toddler, it's the whole family.
ReplyDeleteI think we need to take GMP's advice and re-start exercising regularly. We used to do this before we became 3...
GMP, I admire your ability to carve time out of your day for an exercise routine. I can't do it when I'm living with Epsilon.
DeleteMathgirl: Nooooo! this was not supposed to make you feel guilty. Truth be told, the fact that I've been doing closer to 2 fun activities every weekend is partially my trying to overcompensate for my partners absence. Bad parenting like that should not be emulated.