I just got two papers into draft form for circulation in the last 5 weeks. I should be elated. I thought I would be... and I was for 48 hours, I think.
Now I'm just sitting around panicking about the fact that my partner has a TT offer in the UK starting next year, which means that I need to get something together so that I can get a similar offer near by. This isn't imposter syndrome attacking me, making me worry that I'm not good enough to get a job in a large metro area. This is the constant grind of evaluations and searches for letter writers, and the reality of having a barely-doable-if-I-only-have-commuting-and-research-in-my-life two + epsilon body problem wearing on me.
But this is not a place where I'm allowed to mope. I chose this job because I love it enough to put up with this. And when I no longer do, I certainly am not unemployable with a PhD.
There's a song by Ralph Mitchell that we had to sing in my junior high choir. Nachiketa has adopted the spirit of its lyrics, and if I could find a link that didn't involve a pirated download, I'd link it. I've been listening to the latter a bit recently. The former's lyrics are a bit heavy handed for my purposes, but they are the only ones in English, so I include the first few verses below.
Streets of London
Have you seen the old man
In the closed down market
Kicking up the papers,
with his worn out shoes?
In his eyes you see no pride
Hand held loosely at his side
Yesterday's paper telling yesterday's news
Chorus: So how can you tell me you're lonely,
and say for you that the sun don't shine,
Let me take you by the hand and lead you through the streets of London
I'll show you something to make you change your mind.
Have you seen the old girl
Who walks the streets of London
Dirt in her hair and her clothes in rags
She's no time for talking
she just keeps right on walking
Carrying her home in two carrier bags.
etc.
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