Eggmus is a term coined by Adequate Parent to describe our reactions (akin to love) to the incredibly cute things and often inscrutable things our children do. I hope this is the first in a series of these posts.
A few things you should know first:
1) Our current 2+ epsilon body problem involves a lot of single parenting. This makes going to the bathroom devilishly difficult sometimes.
2) My mother has taught Epsilon to throw things away in the garbage can. He thinks this is a game. This leads him to want to pick up bits of trash at the playground and find a bin to throw it away in.
2a) Great! A budding environmentalist!
2b) Shit! he's drinking out of the juicebox he just found on the beach.
Today's eggmus/instructions for parents of similarly minded toddlers:
Before going to the bathroom, gather a pile of old receipts, dust bunnies, pieces of broken toys you've been meaning to throw out.
When your toddler wants you to get off the toilet to play with him, hand him a piece of your collection. Tell him that it is trash. Watch him go off to the kitchen happily to throw away the scrap of whatever. Don't watch for too long, this is your chance for 30 seconds of peace.
When he comes back to ask you to play with him, give him another piece of trash. Repeat until you have finished your business.
Note: For best results, don't forget to unlock the cabinet that the trashcan lives in.