Wednesday, July 6, 2011

One liners

A friend of a friend of a ... friend of mine has an infant, and is being hassled by her colleagues to become a stay at home mom. She happens to live in a country with strong social insurance program that will allow her to maintain her income for a while as she cares for her child. Sounds great from the point of view of the American system of 12 weeks unpaid, but she doesn't want to be a stay at home mom.

So I'm trying to come up with some one-liners for her situation at various levels of snark. Other contributions welcome.

Why don't you stop working to stay at home with your baby?

I enjoy working.

I'd be bored at home.

If I stopped working here, I'd miss you too much.

But then you'd miss me. ... Oh, you'd just replace me? All the more reason to stay!

I've tried having chats with my infant over lunch, and his conversations skills just aren't as scintillating as yours are.

Hey, thanks for looking out for me at this time. You're such a good friend. Can I tell you a secret? I actually don't like my baby. He smells funny.

You'd make more on social welfare as you make now. Why are you still working?

I enjoy working.

I've been listening to [insert right wing anti-welfare politician] recently, and I think I've developed an allergy to checks from the government.

And what type of example would I be setting for my child if I were to do something just because it would be more lucrative in the short term!?

It is better for the baby to be with his mother.

I enjoy working.

It is better for the child to be with a mother who has a job and some independence.

Actually, I think my kid likes [insert child care provider's name] better.

It's better for a colleague to have considerate co-workers... your point?


  1. Loads of respect for this person!

    Her country that gives out dole and discourages hard work should be ashamed of itself. In my country, there is a famous old play of the most biting satirical quality whose title translates to "Dumb king and his kingdom of darkness". In this imaginary kingdom, a pound of any food item costs the exact same amount of money. A nation in which hard work is not appreciated and everything is free is a dissolute and dark nation.

  2. From my understanding, I don't think this woman is trying to take a political stand. However, I do think she is aware of the reality that if she were to take the social insurance, she may be hurting her chances of entering the job market again after the insurance program ends. I think she simply wants to keep working.

    The issue of whether or not a country should help out people who have reasons to not be at work 5 days a week, and which reasons are valid, and which are not may be a topic for a different post.

  3. I guess the best way is to work on reducing the stigma of being on govt dole till we are all helpless infants in the arms of the state.

  4. Oh man, I could have used some of these lines a couple of years ago!