Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Turning a corner

I think Epsilon has finally turned a corner in how he's dealing with his father's absence. For the first 3.5 weeks, he didn't quite know what to make of the fact that his father was now living in the computer screen. When my partner would play fun games with him via his camera software and skype, Epsilon would sometimes engage, but more often than not, he didn't want his father on the computer. He'd completely ignore him, sometimes even power the computer down. Epsilon even told me that skyping with his father made him sad.

We did our best to work with him, and my partner eventually said that he didn't want to force a skype session on Epsilon, because he want him to develop bad associations with our "family" time. I spoke with a friend of mine, O., who frequently travels for long periods away from his wife and kids. He was sympathetic to my partner's situation, and told me to hang in there. His oldest child went through similar behaviour at Epsilon's age, but eventually got over it. Pessimist that I am, I didn't believe him, but soldiered on.

Last weekend, something clicked in Epsilon's little brain. He started foregoing bed time stories with pictures for stories about his father. And he actually wanted to spend time on skype with him. He now sits in my lap and looks at the computer when the adults are talking, and will even wave his hands in the direction of the computer in an attempt to pat his father's face. This is a definite phase shift. I hope it is permanent. It makes my days so much less sad.

1 comment:

  1. Bittersweet indeed... All the best for the three of you in these difficult times!